Does it always have to be a place of pain?

When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned…

Isa 43:2

The air suddenly seemed heavier.  My heart began to race, and my breathing became harder.   Once again my mind raced back to that horrible time, and what had been a sunny day, became obliterated by painful memories.   Once again I found myself at a “pain place”.   Living in the same town where my husband took his life, my life still takes me to the place where the detectives told me they had found his body; and I sometimes have to drive very near the place where he killed himself.  Fifteen years have passed.  Life has moved on, and I have had many happy days… but something about these two places transport every emotion back to that gut-wrenching time.   These are my pain places.   We all have places that remind us of pain--where years-gone-by emotions can suddenly, almost physically, overwhelm us.  For some of us, it is as if we have built an altar there, and we worship that pain.  But do we have to? 

As I stood in one of my pain places last week, and began to feel my body shudder with those memories; God reminded me I had never stood there alone—“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.  When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.” Isa 43:2.   God alone “heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds” (Ps 147:3).   It was as if He was asking me to finally tear down that pain monument, and replace it with a monument to Him.   He beckoned me to walk in freedom-- even in this place which reminded me of so much pain.  He asked me to allow this pain place to cause me to worship all He has done for me rather than all the enemy had tried to do.  Remembering that God inhabits the praise of His people, I began to silently cry out praises to Him.  I thanked Him for picking up my broken heart, for providing for me and my little boys, and for carrying me when I did not think I could go on.   As I remembered God’s goodness, it was if the demons dropped their weapons and moved on.   The air began to feel lighter, and I began to notice the laughter of people around me.   Once again, my faithful Father brought victory out of darkness.   Once again, I looked up at Heaven and smiled-- remembering He is my refuge and an ever-present help in times of trouble (Ps 46:1) and places of trouble.   That day my place of pain became a place of praise.

Now I won’t lie.  I fully expect the next time I find myself (walking through the fire at my pain place)… I will remember the pain… but I won’t be consumed (I won’t be burned) by it.   I will instead praise my Father who has always been with me, and who is still teaching me to walk closer to Him.   He is peace, hope and joy.  And we can remember that not only in our places of victory… but maybe, even more, in our places of pain. 

Prayer:  Father, may those places of pain…those places where we received the bad news, those places where we have hurt so deeply serve to remind us of your faithfulness.   May we tear down the altars to the pain, and with your help, rebuild them as altars of praise.   As we stand in these places, may we be remember we, are indeed, still standing… because of You.   Thank you Lord that you alone can bring beauty from ashes in everything and at every place.  Amen. 

Pick a side... it is easier!

a double-minded man is unstable in all he does

James 1:8.

Every day we are faced with choices.   Sometimes I think we make those choices harder than they need to be, and drive ourselves crazy.   If I am a follower of Christ, I am to … follow Christ each day in everything.   Life comes barreling at us all, decisions have to be made, and it can be more than overwhelming if we don’t have a “true north”.  God is THE “true north” for every Christian, every day, and for every choice.  His ways are best.   He tells us truth will set us free, and He lays it all out in His Word.   Yet, too often, we take our eyes off Him.  We find ourselves trying to please everyone… and that is no place to live.  It will drive us crazy and make us look stupid.   The Bible says a “double-minded man is unstable in all he does” James 1:8.   Not only are people who try to please everyone viewed as unstable, they are often disliked.  When one spends all his time trying to please everyone he appears to simply have no true convictions at all….just think about the approval ratings of most politicians.  The Bible goes on to say God Himself is displeased with those who have “lukewarm” convictions (Rev 3:16).

Simply put-- pick a side.  When decisions come for you or your family – make a God-side choice not a world-side choice.   Don’t be double-minded and do one thing on Sunday and something entirely different the rest of the week.  Romans 12:2 says “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”  Peace can be found when we put our decisions up to the test of God’s Word and only approve (do) those things that would be approved by Him—and this means everything—whether that be the movies we watch, the music we listen to, the way we talk, the business decisions we make, the clothes we wear and allow our children to wear, etc.  

And here is the really cool deal… when we make God-side choices we are choosing God’s side.  Romans 8:31-32 says “What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?”  What does this mean… if we choose God’s way He will take care of us.  He will be our confidence; and we will find ourselves free from the exhausting, fruitless, impossible task of pleasing the world and trying to please everyone.   So choose you this day… in this decision, in every decision… Who will you serve?  (p.s. there is a right answer). 

Prayer:  Father, You are right.  Your Word  is truth.   Teach me your way so that I may not sin against you.   Help me to follow you every day and in every way ….I don’t want to be double minded.   Thank you for showing my sin – times I pick the other side.  I want your protection.  I want your peace.   Help me to know your will and do it and teach my family the same thing.  Amen.

25 year-old Words on a Wipe-off board

“Whatever He says to you, do it”
John 2:5


A wipe-off board with the words, “God said yes!!!” sets
protected at my parent’s home almost 25 years after they were written. I remember reading them as a teenager wondering
briefly what God had said “yes” to and how my brother knew. While I struggled through the teenage years;
Chuck sought God daily through His Word, and found answers to his questions. Those words were a confirmation of a calling
on his life, and the beginning of a long, arduous journey to serve the Lord as
a Christian attorney with a mission to help explain and protect our rights to
share our faith. Grueling years of law
school, and working in a District Attorney’s office helped him gain knowledge;
but a relationship with the One who called him kept him going.

Today, the battle is fierce, the budget small, the spiritual
attacks daily, and the accolades few.
Yet, there is an unwavering confidence and a quiet strength to go on--
despite the persecution. This confident
determination doesn’t come from some personality trait, but rather from a love
for and eyes on Jesus. Oswald Chambers
says “faith is a deliberate commitment to the Person of Jesus Christ even when
I can’t see the way ahead.” And believe
me, there are many days Chuck can’t see the way ahead.

I don’t know what your call is…to raise godly children, to
lead a ministry, or to share your faith in a foreign land…but I bet there are
days you can’t see the way ahead. No
matter how noble, no matter how committed you are; if your commitment is to the
call, the result, or the ministry –your strength and your confidence will
surely fail. But if our commitment is to the Person of
Jesus Christ—if He is what we seek more than any other result; we will see Him
do things so much greater than we could ever imagine. Yes, there will be days where nothing seems
to be happening, and times when obedience seems to bring nothing but
trial. But it is especially in those
days that our love for our Savior (not our love for our call) will keep us
going; and it is then that we will see our Savior do mighty works in and
through us. His strength will never
fail.

Prayer: Oh Father, remind me daily that You are the
treasure I seek. I can do nothing
without You. Help me to seek You first. Direct my steps. Help me to walk out your will in the quiet
confidence that comes from a real, daily relationship with You. I love You Lord. Thank you for reminding me you are the
treasure. Amen.


If you
would like to know more about what Chuck does visit his new facebook page ( or copy
the link below into your browser) There you can learn about such things as our
kid’s rights to pray at school etc.

https://www.facebook.com/search/results.php?q=projectseven&init=quick&tas=search_preload&search_first_focus=1332941462507#!/ProjectSeveninc

Dont raise a godless fool!

There is no joy for the parent of a godless fool
Prov 17:21b

It is not easy. It takes time, but ignorance is not bliss. If you are a parent, you have a big job, and it is your job to do! God chose you to be your child’s parent. He has given you instruction in His Word, but if you do not take your job seriously… you may raise a godless fool who will bring you anything but joy.

Those are some hard, true words from God’s Word. Being a parent today is not an easy task. We all know it is true! We live in a world where wrong is right and right is wrong. It is easy to feel like an alien and stranger (even in church) when we choose to parent our kids to instill godly values in them. But can I encourage you? If you don’t want to raise a godless fool, if you want to choose joy for your kids and yourself –rather than heartache – be an alien! (I Pet 2:11) Be that parent who gets in your kid’s business, who can say “no”, and who seeks to be their parent rather than their friend. No doubt, you will hear “everyone else gets to” and “it isn’t fair”. Just take those words as confirmation you are doing the right thing! Remember the enemy has his sights set on the destruction of your children and he does not fight fair. Be “unfair” too --check your kid’s texts, get on their Facebook, get to know friends and their friends’ parents. Don’t let your kids go places unless you know what goes on there. Be careful about what you allow in your home – pay attention to the TV shows they watch and music they listen to. Police their time on the internet and the pictures they receive on their phones. Do you know “one out of five kids who are on the internet regularly is approached to have sex” (Conner 2005)? Furthermore, pornography use and “sexting” is growing rampantly among kids – in and out of the church. And can I just say as a mother of teenage boys - it is disheartening to do all I can to protect my sons’ eyes only to take them to church and see a teenage girl dressed in a way that leaves little to the imagination. We have to teach our daughters about modesty and our son’s the value of it. I want my daughter to attract a godly man, and in order to do so, she needs to dress like a godly woman. It is my job as her mother to teach her why this is important and to not allow her to purchase or wear clothing that is inappropriate regardless of what everyone else is doing. Help your kids know it is okay to be different. Remember - you are an alien, and you want your kids to be joyful, wise aliens as well! You have to be on guard, and you need to be wise. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it!

Prayer: Father, you gave me my kids. You chose me to be their mom. Help me to parent them as you want me to. Give me wisdom and strength. Help me to protect, direct and parent my kids to choose your best. Please strengthen them to be aliens and strangers who choose to follow you rather than fools who try to live their lives outside of your will. Thank you Lord for loving them even more than I do. Thank you for equipping me to parent them as you have called me to do. Amen.

Knocked down from my "High Horse"

If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!
Matt 7:11

Have you ever had one of those rare conversations with your child where you felt like you “hit a home run”? Where you seemed to exude parental wisdom, impart Scripture, and even feel like your child “got it”. Have you swelled with pride only to be promptly knocked off your high horse when just a little later you find yourself living the lesson you just taught? Surely, someone knows what I am talking about!

Recently, one of my kids came to me to tell me he was praying to be more Christ-like in his behavior. A few days later, he was lied to by a friend. He was hurt and angry. After talking through his emotions and reminding him of his prayer request, I shared with him how God rarely just gives us attributes of Christ instantaneously when we ask; but instead gives us the opportunities to stretch into exhibiting them. We talked about how this situation was his opportunity to show forgiveness, to not “repay evil for evil” and to be more Christ-like. Sounds like a great day, right? It was until later that same day when I found myself aggravated by a situation which surely required more patience and self-control than any woman should have to exhibit! To be honest, I was just about ready to let the offending party “have it”, …and then… I heard …the awful sound of my own words ringing in my ears! I remembered my “son’s” lesson. Quite humbled, I caught myself before I reacted and smiled up at God thanking Him for the timely reminder. You see, I had been praying for more patience and self-control, and God had answered my prayer with an opportunity to develop those fruits of the Spirit. I am a slow learner, but God has taught me so much as I teach my children. He has put a “holy whack” to things in me which are not like His Son, and, let me tell you, He has many more things to work on. I wish I could tell you I always recognize the lesson during the lesson, but I am getting better at it and more thankful for it.

God is a patient Father who loves us perfectly. Being an imperfect parent and loving my kids like crazy only gives me a glimpse of how much our Heavenly Father loves us. Because He wants us to “get it” I am very sure He will keep sending the lessons until we do. I know He will because He loves us too much to leave us like we are. God only and always wants what is best for His children….and it sure helps to remember this when the lessons come. One thing I know-- the sooner we learn to recognize trials as opportunities to be more like His Son---the more peace, joy, and hope we will experience… and the less trouble we will get into with God and others! Just think, if we want what is best for our kids, if we want peace, hope and joy for them… don’t you know God wants it even more for each of us.

Prayer: Father, I know you have opportunities for me to learn some things and be more like your Son. Help me to see the lesson during the lesson. Help me to recognize the hurt, the aggravation, the unkindness, the day-that-didn’t-go-my-way as an opportunity to grow to be more like your Son. Thank you Lord for your patience. Thank you for loving me and not leaving me like I am. Amen.

God's Favor

Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil.” Job 1:8


We all cheer when we see the “Tim Tebows” of our world--believers who give God the glory for the winning touch down, the lucrative job, business success, talented beautiful kids, long-lasting relationships and all the other things which seem to reflect God’s favor on our lives. It just seems natural to equate the appearance of things going well with God’s favor. Yet, I wonder if there isn’t a level of God’s favor which surpasses the favor we so readily attribute to those who are experiencing success. I wonder if God favors most those who He trusts with the failure, the loss, the sickness…the hard, gut-wrenching things. “Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil.” Job 1:8. It is often because of the trial, the pain, the tragedy that those God favors, that those God trusts with the hard road, bring Him the most glory.

It is human nature to look at our lives and compare them to others. I have often imagined how I could give God glory and support ministry if he gave me a million dollars or if my child could play football like Tim Tebow. Yet, I am surrounded by saints who have seen their lives devastated by cancer, by job loss, and by loss of loved ones. I stand in awe as they call God “good” and tell me how much they love Him as their weakened bodies falter, their finances crumble, or their long-held dreams crash to the ground. I can’t help but think what favor God must have for those He trusts with such hard things. As I talk with them, one thing is common among them all…they live their lives knowing this life is not their home. They remember, like Job did, that this “life is but a breath” (Job 7:7). They seem energized by the opportunity to give God glory and point others to Him – this side of Heaven. Their pain is real, their days are hard, yet their hope is in a steadfast, faithful God; and His favor must surely rest on them as it did on Job.

I don’t know if this day will bring you happiness or pain, health or sickness, financial blessing or loss…but I do know this day is a chance to give God glory. I know holding onto Him is the only best way to find peace that surpasses all understanding (Phil 4:7). I know we can be “more than conquerors” because Jesus loves us (Rom 8:37). We all have a choice when life says “fall apart”. Those who have been trusted with the hard, those who are favored by God can choose to believe God, live in His strength, and give Him glory…or miss the wonderful opportunity to see Him and point others to Him so they can see Him as He is -- more than faithful.

Next month, I will be speaking in New Jersey. One of the dear women on the leadership team for the event is walking a heart-breaking, hard road. Her godly husband, the love of her life, has been told his cancer has returned and there is little the doctors can do. Below is a prayerful poem he penned upon the news. What glory his words bring to our faithful Father. May we all be encouraged to look at our trials and find our God faithful as well.

Returning Menace

Though the cancer has returned, so much from God I’ve learned,
Not from the reading of His Truth, but, my life is His living proof,
Of my Lord’s Power and Grace, granting strength place to place,
Going through every trial and test, in the Lord Jesus I found rest,
Rest which only God could give, as through that trial I would live.

I learned, in God, just how I can, put my trust In God, even when,
Life situations turn for the worst, when I look to Christ Jesus first,
Especially when days were dark, God’s Grace always left a mark,
Sustaining me in grace and power, even through the darkest hour,
This as God proved in my life, a sustaining power of Jesus Christ.

In spite of cancer I’ve had health, which provides a greater wealth,
Far exceeding temporal prosperity, with gain acquired for eternity,
As His Grace is more than rife, working out His Purpose in my life,
Using my life just as God wills, while His Purpose The Lord fulfills,
And my cancer isn’t the story, but, God’s Grace, Power and Glory.

So, as my path again has turned, I will lean upon what I’ve learned,
My total health may not be restored, but, I’ll always have The Lord,
Who, as He helps me understand, guides me with His gentle Hand,
In things I cannot comprehend, as my present life draws to an end,
With ahead a glorious destiny, when with Christ, I step into Eternity.

(Copyright ©12/2011 Bob Gotti)

You can read more poems from Arlene and Bob’s faithful journey at www.poeticpulpit.com

Will he ever be "normal"?

He is your praise; he is your God, who performed for you those great and awesome wonders you saw with your own eyes. Deut 10:21

He spent his first two weeks on a ventilator fighting to live. His little body fit in the palm of my hand. Every breath was a struggle and every calorie came from a tube. The first year included multiple surgeries and 264 days in the hospital. The years after included seizures from brain bleeds, heart monitors, oxygen tanks, and a g-tube for nourishment. More than once, I have been asked will he ever be “normal?” Life with my son has never seemed normal. It didn’t feel normal to sit through two eight-hour heart surgeries at Duke (the last one only 18 months ago). But this morning didn’t feel normal either --getting up at 4:45 am to take him to practice because he made the high school basketball team. It is really not normal that the child, who still has asthma, can run for two hours every afternoon. It is also weird that the boy rarely cracks a book and has almost straight “A’s”. Living with Ben has never been normal. I don’t guess it is normal to see God work miracles … but I am very sure He still does.

A long time ago, I sat crying in a hospital chapel pleading with God to let Ben live but telling God I still loved Him no matter what He chose to do. In the years since, I have had to remind myself of that prayer over and over…but it isn’t seeing the miracles that have gotten me through-- it has been knowing the miracle maker. I know God is good and I know He can… whether or not He does. I know He loves my children more than I do, and that true peace, hope, and joy come from Him not your circumstances. I know He alone can bring beauty from ashes. I know He can take our pain and turn it into our passion. In the hardest moments of life, and in the greatest victories, God does not change. He is always there, and He is always faithful. God is enough to sustain me when all else seems to fail me. This is a miracle, and to know this I am thankful.

How about you? Do you know the miracle-maker? Are you thankful for Who He is as much as for what He does? Is your peace dependent on your circumstances, or are you standing on the rock Who is Jesus Christ? Life is hard. It is unpredictable. God is the only steady in the storm. He is peace that makes no sense and joy in the midst of pain. I am so thankful to know Jesus Christ in a real run-to-Him relationship…and not just know about Him. He is Savior, and He is Friend.

Prayer: Thank you Lord for the miracle of knowing You. It is no small thing that you came to earth and died for me so I could spend eternity in Heaven with you. But thank you God for the miracle of knowing you in a real personal relationship. Thank you for speaking through your Word. Thank you for allowing me to see your Hand in my life. Thank you for taking hard things and bringing good from them. You are strength for today and hope for tomorrow. Amen.