The fear of the Lord leads to life and he who has it will abide in satisfaction. Prov 19:23
It was that “something else” in others that first drew me to a real relationship with Jesus Christ. Although in church all my life, I had been a slave to up and down emotions; falling apart over trivial things, while I watched others stand strong through tragedies. They had peace that made no sense to me. I wanted that. I finally found lasting peace when Jesus became more than a story to me – when I asked Him to be Lord of my life, and when I stepped out in faith to obey Him even when my emotions said do something else. It was and is a growing process. There are days when I trust Him like the hero He is, and there are other days when I beg Him moment by moment to remind me of His faithfulness and truth. I have found Him to be faithful even when I am faithless (2 Tim 2:13). I know He carries me when I am weak--constantly giving hope and peace sufficient for whatever life brings.
I want this same satisfaction for my kids, yet I cannot simply tell them about it. I know faith is a personal thing to possess that must grow in them just as it grows in me. I also know my faith and my love for Jesus grew the most when it was tested by trial and tragedy….and deep down I know the same is true for them. This is why I know my job is not to rescue my kids from every trial they face, but to point them to the Rock who will be their hope, strength and direction… all the days of their life, and long after I am gone. This hard truth has changed my prayers for my kids. I used to pray “momma prayers” – “keep them safe, help them to do well in school, help them to get along with others” and on and on. Yet, my Holy-Spirit-inspired desire for them to love God more than anything, and be blessed by all that brings, has prompted me to ask Him to take them through whatever it takes to know He is enough when all else seems to fail them. That is a hard prayer to pray and especially hard when I see God answering it. Yet, I know if my kids learn at an early age that He is their rock; they will have a steadfast faith that is not easily shaken by life’s ups and downs. They will have peace, hope and joy which is not dependent on their circumstances. They will rest in the freedom that comes from living their lives to please God rather than chasing all the empty things this life has to offer.
Saying all that is one thing. Living it is entirely another. Every fiber of my momma heart wants to rescue my kids from pain. Sometimes I am to do just that, yet other times my job is to stand back and pray… and the only way I know the difference is by staying at the feet of my Savior who loves my children much more than I ever could. I trust Him so much more than I trust me, not only for my life, but for theirs.
Prayer: Oh Jesus, You are the Rock. Your Word is true. Your presence is peace. I want more than anything for my kids to love You above all else. I pray they will give You glory all the days of their lives. I know You can sustain them when all else seems to fail them. I know You alone can give them real hope, real joy and real peace. May I stay so connected to You that I know moment by moment how to best point them to truth. And give me the courage to ask You to take my children through whatever it takes to love you first… because You love them most. Your plans for them are exceedingly abundantly more than (even their momma) could ask or imagine (Eph 3:20). Please be their abiding satisfaction. Thank you Lord. Amen.