Even When He says "No"

Though he slay me, yet I will hope in him.
Job 13:15

God has done so much for me but He often feels the closest and freedom the greatest when others might look at the situation and think He has forgotten me. In many hard times God has brought me to total surrender and asked me to be willing for the answer to be “no”. When I have been able to spit out the words: “even if my biggest fear happens, I will still follow you” when I finally lay down my need for God to explain Himself, when I give up trying to fix things, control things and stop expecting things to go the way I want… a strange, wonderful peace comes and worry, frustration, and fear subside. In the hardest of moments, I can only find hope when I throw up my hands to the Father and submit to Him. No one can define or predict God and life often calls us to follow Him in some very difficult times. Peace comes when in those moments we are able to say, “I don’t know what you are doing. I can’t explain you or predict you. I don’t want you to do this… but even if you do… I have no choice but to love and follow you. You are bigger than all I know. Your way is better than mine. You are God and I am not.”

For years I have heard Christians say, “You have to die to yourself” but God has had to rip those control reigns from my hand more than once. Really, who am I to question His way? Who are you? God is the Holy of Holies. He is powerful and mighty. He died for me and if that were all – if He never did one more, good thing for me – I would still owe Him everything. So would you. That is easy to say but hard to mean. And you can’t just mean it once. You have to mean it every day. You have to daily die to your way and live for Him…. But daily falling on your face before the Living God and following Him is the best, hardest thing you will ever do. Because try as we may, we cannot out-give, out-love the Most High. He may take you a way you didn’t want to go but He will strengthen you, love you, help you and always uphold you with His righteous right hand (Is 41:10).

Prayer: Father, help me to live this day for you. Help me to not worry about tomorrow. Help me to follow you with all I have even when I would have chosen another way. You are Lord – help me to live like I mean that and reap all the benefits that come from belonging to the King of the Universe. Thank you for loving me. Amen.