Missing God

My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When can I go and meet with God?
Psalms 41:2

I have felt like Eeyore lately. It seems like one hard, irritating thing after another has happened. Life has been busy and distracting. And can I be honest? I am not sure if you will want to hear this or not… unless, of course, it has happened to you. Okay, so, are you ready?... I have felt somewhat distant from God. It isn’t that I have been caught up in sin, or that I have neglected reading my Bible. I have gone to church, and I have done all the things that I normally do… yet, God just doesn’t feel as close. I don’t know why the seasons of feeling distant come… but they have come before. Thankfully (and with hallelulajah) they always end! Suddenly, without expectation, one day, God just feels close again. I notice His presence in the many colors of the sunset; I hear His joy in the belly laughter of my children; it is as if my hands, once again, can almost reach out and touch Him in the chorus of a praise song. I am never sure what precipitates the resurrection of that wonderful, unexplainable, delightful, feeling of intimacy with my Heavenly Father…I have never figured it out. I guess I never really tried. I am usually too busy basking in the sweet feeling of His presence again.

So when the down days come, when the problems seem louder than my blessings, when I am tired, when my heart is heavy, or when I just don’t feel God (Who is near) near… I hang on. I keep going. I press on knowing He really is there and knowing, though He might not feel close now, He is! And there is peace in knowing I won’t always feel distant like I feel today. In some ways, I think this “missing Him” makes me more thankful and even thirstier for more of Him. Yes, I know, God is so much more than a feeling… but I have to tell you, I love the feeling of a so-close-my-heart-might-burst God.

Prayer: Father, I love You. I love the feeling of Your presence in my life. I want more of You and I miss You so much when you feel distant. Thank you for the incredible joy that it is to walk with You in real fellowship. Oh, may those days where you feel close far outnumber the days where you feel distant. But in those days, those down days… thank you for carrying me. Thank you for never leaving me to feel apart for very long. Amen.

Mean Girls

Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.
I Pet 3:9

Girls can be mean. I knew it as a teenager. I feel it even more now as a Mom. This past weekend, Abi was invited to a slumber party. She had to decline because we had family plans. Before I go on with the story, I have to tell you, none of my kids are perfect (mind you, this is the same kid who in a previous devotion broke her toe kicking her brother). Yet this weekend she “walked the talk”. Late Friday night she received a text from her “friends” at the slumber party telling her, “You have a large zit and you are ugly.” Without consulting me, Abi simply texted back, “I think you are beautiful. But I don’t get my security from what others think. I get that from God.” After the fact, she calmly read me the texts without a hint of anger towards those girls.

I am pretty sure I would not have reacted the same when I was twelve years old. But Abi could because she remembered peace and security come from God. She knows she is called to be a doer of the Word and not just a hearer (James 1:22)…and not just when it is easy to do so. On the other hand, my first flesh-filled, moma-bear thought was to give those girls a good “talking to” and spend any amount of money on pimple cream to protect her. However as Francis Chan (Forgotten God) says “I think we could all agree living according to our sinful flesh is not what is intended for children of God. Yet even so, we often choose to face life’s issues and circumstances in exactly the same way as someone without the Spirit of God”. Chan goes on to say when we do this “ whether consciously or not, we essentially say to God, ‘I know you raised Christ from the dead; but the fact is my problems are just too much for you and I need to deal with them by myself.’”

On this day, Abi chose not to live by her flesh and relied on something much better than pimple cream for her protection. In the midst of her hurt, Abi had a choice. She chose to trust God by not repaying evil for evil, and she was blessed for it (1 Pet 3:9). She remembered her value to Him far exceeds the opinion of any other person on this earth. As she went to school on Monday, she was bombarded with apologies from all those girls; and she found out that a kind word really does turn away wrath (Prov 15:1). Her obedient faith, tested by trials really is more precious than gold (1 Pet 1:6-9). Once again, I find my faith, my walk with the Lord challenged by the children God has blessed me to raise. Trust and obey… really is the only way.

Prayer- Father, Your Word is truth. A mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace (Rom 8:6) and obeying You is always the best choice in any circumstance. Oh, Lord as I go through the day and encounter others; help me to react in the Spirit and not in my flesh. Thank you for loving me with an unending perfect love… and loving my children even more than I do. May I do all I can to point them to your faithful, wise, instruction. Amen.

I gotta "let not" on this one shot

Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in me.
John 14:1

Do you remember what you did day before yesterday? I’m not sure I do. Somehow two weeks have flown by since I last sat down to write one of these devotionals. School started and the days have been full of busy. We have done lots of stuff, but I am not sure that I could tell you what has consumed so much time. I am sure you know what I am talking about at your house too. Life sometimes seems like a blur. My to-do lists are a mile long, my attempts at multi-tasking wear me out, the laundry piles up, the meetings run back-to-back, that date night with my husband just didn’t happen, and I look up, and another week has passed. My kids are growing up, my parents are getting older…life is flying by at a crazy pace.

Yet God says, “Be still and know that I am God” (Ps 46:10). I want some “still”, don’t you? God is calm in the midst of crazy. He is the best, right priority. He is worth slowing down and soaking in. As I read John 14:1 this morning (Let not your heart be troubled); the phrase “let not” jumped out at me. In order to “Be still and know” God, I have to do some “Let not-ing” For instance, I have to… Let not anything take priority over time alone with God. Let not Facebook, email, or my I-phone consume too much of my day. Let not multi-tasking keep me from soaking up precious moments with my kids. Let not a busy day keep me from making that precious phone call to a family member or friend. Let not my to-do list keep me from changing plans when the Holy Spirit tugs at my heart to do so. Let not the noise of this world keep me from praying and praising without ceasing. Let not a busy ministry keep me from ministering to those in my own family.

This life is our one shot. Unlike our kid’s video games, we don’t get do-overs. I don’t want my life to be a blur of doing lots of things but not really doing anything that matters. How about you? God tells us without Him we can do nothing (John 15:5). In fact, we can do a lot of nothing. It is very easy to let our days pass doing a lot of nothing. If we aren’t careful, those days will add up to a life of nothing. Take a moment and ask yourself, “What did I do yesterday? Where did I spend my time this past week? What difference did I make in the life of someone else? Did I do a lot of nothing without God, or did I spend time seeking Him, praising Him, and pointing others to Him?” Oh friend, it is so easy to be so busy, so distracted and do a lot of nothing. I want more – don’t you? God wants more for us too, and, unlike our more, His more is always good. Let’s be deliberate. Let’s be intentional. When we look back on all the days and weeks that add up to be our life – let’s not let our heart be troubled that we spent our time on stuff that just doesn’t matter. But with God, with His help, we can “let not ” our lives and our hearts be troubled with things that don’t really matter.

Prayer: Oh Father, I want to abide in You. I want to spend my short time on this earth producing much fruit that matters. You want this for me too. Help me to get the things I need to get done accomplished while still having a heart that is stayed on You. Help me to abide in You, to pray to You throughout the day, to hear Your voice directing my steps and even changing my plans. My life is yours Lord. May I live it so that when I take my last breath I do so without regret. Thank you Lord for loving me. Thank you for reminding me to be still, to let not, and enjoy these days spent with You and the blessings you have surrounded me with. Amen.

Big Brothers and Sin

The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still. Ex 14:14

If you grew up with older brothers, you know what it is like. My boys adore their sister and don’t want anyone messing with her—except them! They love to tease her, and one day she had all she could take. Furious, she kicked Will (her very big brother) with all her might. As we sat at the orthopedist office Abi, with a fractured growth plate in her toe remarked, “I guess some lessons are harder to learn than others.” For the next four weeks, she will be in a walking boot up to her knee, and the one she intended to harm, Will, doesn’t even have a bruise.

Have you ever had all you could take? Have you imagined ways you could “get back at someone”? Have you ever just “let someone have it”? Did it solve your problems or make things worse? Did you experience peace or regret? Why is it so hard for us fleshlings to turn the other cheek (Matt 5:39), to love our enemy (Matt 5:43), to allow God to fight our battles (Ex 14:14), to forgive those who have offended us, (Col 3:13), and to remember vengeance is mine sayeth the Lord (Rom 12:19)? Why do we insist on trying to kick against what we know God has called us to do rather than just walk with Him? Do we realize how our attempts at magnifying ourselves are so opposite to being crucified with Christ? Have you ever considered how much joy you give Satan when you give in to the flesh and disobey God? I read a quote recently by Russell Moore: "Satan is as ambitious for your goals as you are, maybe more so. He'll give you the power you want, the glory you crave, as long as you fall down and obtain it his way. The powers don't care if we are respected or influential or moral or conservative, as long as we'd rather be magnified than crucified."

You may have made a decision to “follow Christ”… but it isn’t just a one-time decision. It is a daily decision to die to self and to choose to be crucified with Christ rather than magnify yourself and insist on your rights. The Bible says “He who loses his life shall find it” (Matt 16:25). True peace (and less pain) comes when I become less and Jesus becomes more (John 3:30) in every action, decision, and frustration I face.

Dear Almighty One- I submit to You, and to your authority over every area of my life. Please show me where I fail to obey You. Please forgive me, and please strengthen me to live a crucified life. Help to die to self so I might really live. I trust You for eternity. Help me to trust You enough to obey You in this day. Amen.

Don't forget the gum is there!

I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Psalm 27:13

She bounced into my Mom’s kitchen, and stopped in her tracks. Looking up, her eyes grew wide as she saw the stash and exclaimed, “Nanaw” (grandma),” I forgot you have gum!” Though my little niece’s comment seemed completely genuine, my mother and I were stunned. For most of Allyson’s short life, my mom has been known to be her chief supplier of gum; and, in grandma-fashion, she has allowed her to chew packs a day. Yet there she stood,-wide-eyed, smiling, and delighted at the gum that awaited her. It all struck me as funny, and my mother and I laughed in amazement as she skipped out of the room with several pieces in hand.

As I pondered the event, the Holy Spirit seemed to whisper, “You know that is how you are,” and I don’t think He meant happy and skipping. I wonder how many times I have been surrounded with God’s blessings and didn’t notice or remember they were there. I wonder how many times I take them for granted and forget God “richly provides everything for our enjoyment” (I Tim 6:17). How many times have I missed or ignored the fact God has really blessed my socks off?

But let’s be real. There are times, when our child-like delight at God’s blessings is choked off by adult cares and worries of this world. The fact is, life is full of troubles, hard, gut-wrenching, sad things; and we are especially apt during these times to forget “the gum is there”. Indeed God lays before us many blessings, and sometimes we just don’t see them. It is especially in these times when we need to be diligent about remembering and looking for His goodness. Maybe life has fallen apart. Perhaps something has happened which you never thought possible, and you wonder if you will ever smile again. The enemy loves this and will do all he can to keep your eyes focused on what you don’t have, what went wrong, or where you messed up. He doesn’t want you to “see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living” and especially in the midst of the trial. The enemy knows if you turn your eyes to Jesus you will see blessings. Oh they may seem small during your heartache, but they are there. Do you have enough food for today? Do you have people who love you? Can you see the sunset? Can you hear the bird sing? Do you have a roof over your head? Do you have a phone to call a friend? Do you have comfortable pajamas to snuggle up in? And don’t forget you have greater blessings and comforts than all of these if you are a child of God—you have a Savior who died for you and will never leave you, you have the Holy Spirit to guide you, you have His loving Word to comfort you, and you have His assurance that one day every tear will be wiped away, every sickness healed, and every day will be a celebration beyond anything we can imagine. Can you see His blessings? Can you remember they are there? Will you celebrate His goodness (Ps 145:7)? It will do your heart good when you do.

Oh Father, Provider, Helper, Healer, Comforter, thank you for loving me and surrounding me with blessings in this life. Give me eyes to see your Hand and your blessings in each day. Help me remember they are there. When life gets hard…and it does… open my eyes to see You are with me and remind me You go before me. Help me remember you sent your Son to die for me, and that is no small thing. You are good. You are still in control, and you still have good things planned for me and my family. I love you Lord. Thank you for blessing me. Amen.

The Secret to Feeling Better

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus
Phil 2:3-5

Captivated, I stood gazing at the black and white photo of a well-kept, beautiful woman, her head held high and eyes sparkling with spunk. “That’s me you know” she said as she stumbled up beside me. Her body twisted by Parkinsons, one leg seemed to drag, her back bowed, her head, literally, no longer able to be held high. Yet those same beautiful eyes showed no sadness as she smiled at the picture. Moments earlier, I had asked her how she was doing. She had nonchalantly replied, “Oh, some days good, some days not-so-good,” and motioned, with shaking hands, for me to follow her out to her sunroom. Spread out on a table was a lovely, little quilt; thread, needle and scissors. She explained she was making a “comforter quilt” for a local ministry serving children removed from their homes because of abuse or neglect. With much effort she sat; her body bowed against the table, and I watched in awe as she willed her trembling hands to finally thread the needle. We sat in silence for a while, the ticking of an old clock the only sound, but my lesson was loud and clear. Life had changed for her, she could no longer control most things including her own body, and the simplest of tasks now took ten times longer. She spends hours alone inside her house. Yet, she has no time for self-pity. Instead, she has accepted this season of this temporary life with incredible grace, and a heart focused on others-- an attitude like her Savior.

The Bible tells us we are to have the attitude of Christ (Phil 2:5) who in obedience to God, with His eyes on us, willingly took the cup the same night He was betrayed (I Cor 11:23-25). I don’t think it was a coincidence that Jesus took the cup the same night He was betrayed. I think it is a lesson for us to realize when we continue to follow God and love others (“take our cup”) especially in the midst of heavy burdens and heartache, we will likely find it to be our greatest opportunity to proclaim our Lord (I Cor 11:26).

What does your day hold? What trouble, pain, sickness or disappointment has come your way? You have a choice; you know. You could be bitter and focus on yourself and get even more upset; or you could seek to follow the One you call Savior and have His attitude in this “cup” that has come your way. Go ahead; try it. Focus on others and find yourself refreshed. Don’t take my word for it…just read Proverbs 11:25: “He who refreshes others refreshes himself.” Isn’t that just like God? Oh how He loves us and how He blesses us as we love others.

Prayer: Father, I want to live my life to give you glory. Please help me to see problems as opportunities to do just that. Thank you for being strength to go on and joy that doesn’t make any sense when life gets crazy. Help me to obey you with all I have and help me to trust you to use whatever “cup” that has come my way as a vessel for my good and your glory. I love you Lord. Amen.

I'm moving!

Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content. Phil 4:11

If you’ve read my story (www.morethanchocolate.org ) you know my life has been anything but predictable or stable. Yet, way down deep I have still clung to a secret hope that somehow I could make it be. I like order. I like predictability. I like to feel like I am in control of what the day will hold. Yet life for me and many of us lately has been anything but predictable. At this moment, I am packing up boxes at what I thought would be my last home – a beautiful farm house on ten acres. However, the economy hasn’t been friendly to builders, so we sold our home and in three weeks will move to a place yet to be determined! Yet through the craziness, God has helped me see that my seemingly innocent desire to have things in life (like my home) be predictable, stable, and comfortable is just another idol God is asking me to lay down.

I heard a preacher once ask the question, “Are you a pilgrim or a settler?” Do you live your life as a traveler on your way to an eternal home, or are you desperately trying to set up camp in this life? Do you fall apart when God tells you to move (literally or figuratively); or do you deny yourself, take up your cross, follow Him and find true life (Matt 16:24-25)? Are you constantly trying to arrange your life so it is comfortable and stable, or are you giving God your life to use as He sees fit? Can you experience peace despite your circumstances (Phil 4:7), or do you find peace only when things go as you would hope or plan? Oswald Chambers said, “there is only one thing you can consecrate to God and that is the right to yourself (Rom12:1)”. He goes on to say, “the saint realizes that it is God Who engineers circumstances, consequently there is no whine, but a reckless abandon to Jesus.” The really cool thing is… there is peace in reckless abandon, in the laying down of our desire for stability and predictability, in forsaking our need to control our lives and the lives of others, and allowing Jesus to be our guide one day at a time (Matt 6:32-34). Our Father is so good. His burden is easy and His guiding yoke is light. It is in reckless abandon to Him (not predictability or stability in this life) that He tells us we will find rest for our souls (Matt 11:29-30). And that is no small thing.

Prayer: Oh Lord, help me to lay down those things which keep me from experiencing your peace. Take my right to myself, my day, my calendar, my expectations, my need to control, my desire for stability and predictability, and help me to live in reckless abandon to You. May I give glory to You no matter what this day brings. May I only desire to stay under the shelter of Your wings, for you are my rock, my protector and my comforter (Ps 61:3-4). Amen..