The Secret to Feeling Better

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus
Phil 2:3-5

Captivated, I stood gazing at the black and white photo of a well-kept, beautiful woman, her head held high and eyes sparkling with spunk. “That’s me you know” she said as she stumbled up beside me. Her body twisted by Parkinsons, one leg seemed to drag, her back bowed, her head, literally, no longer able to be held high. Yet those same beautiful eyes showed no sadness as she smiled at the picture. Moments earlier, I had asked her how she was doing. She had nonchalantly replied, “Oh, some days good, some days not-so-good,” and motioned, with shaking hands, for me to follow her out to her sunroom. Spread out on a table was a lovely, little quilt; thread, needle and scissors. She explained she was making a “comforter quilt” for a local ministry serving children removed from their homes because of abuse or neglect. With much effort she sat; her body bowed against the table, and I watched in awe as she willed her trembling hands to finally thread the needle. We sat in silence for a while, the ticking of an old clock the only sound, but my lesson was loud and clear. Life had changed for her, she could no longer control most things including her own body, and the simplest of tasks now took ten times longer. She spends hours alone inside her house. Yet, she has no time for self-pity. Instead, she has accepted this season of this temporary life with incredible grace, and a heart focused on others-- an attitude like her Savior.

The Bible tells us we are to have the attitude of Christ (Phil 2:5) who in obedience to God, with His eyes on us, willingly took the cup the same night He was betrayed (I Cor 11:23-25). I don’t think it was a coincidence that Jesus took the cup the same night He was betrayed. I think it is a lesson for us to realize when we continue to follow God and love others (“take our cup”) especially in the midst of heavy burdens and heartache, we will likely find it to be our greatest opportunity to proclaim our Lord (I Cor 11:26).

What does your day hold? What trouble, pain, sickness or disappointment has come your way? You have a choice; you know. You could be bitter and focus on yourself and get even more upset; or you could seek to follow the One you call Savior and have His attitude in this “cup” that has come your way. Go ahead; try it. Focus on others and find yourself refreshed. Don’t take my word for it…just read Proverbs 11:25: “He who refreshes others refreshes himself.” Isn’t that just like God? Oh how He loves us and how He blesses us as we love others.

Prayer: Father, I want to live my life to give you glory. Please help me to see problems as opportunities to do just that. Thank you for being strength to go on and joy that doesn’t make any sense when life gets crazy. Help me to obey you with all I have and help me to trust you to use whatever “cup” that has come my way as a vessel for my good and your glory. I love you Lord. Amen.

I'm moving!

Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content. Phil 4:11

If you’ve read my story (www.morethanchocolate.org ) you know my life has been anything but predictable or stable. Yet, way down deep I have still clung to a secret hope that somehow I could make it be. I like order. I like predictability. I like to feel like I am in control of what the day will hold. Yet life for me and many of us lately has been anything but predictable. At this moment, I am packing up boxes at what I thought would be my last home – a beautiful farm house on ten acres. However, the economy hasn’t been friendly to builders, so we sold our home and in three weeks will move to a place yet to be determined! Yet through the craziness, God has helped me see that my seemingly innocent desire to have things in life (like my home) be predictable, stable, and comfortable is just another idol God is asking me to lay down.

I heard a preacher once ask the question, “Are you a pilgrim or a settler?” Do you live your life as a traveler on your way to an eternal home, or are you desperately trying to set up camp in this life? Do you fall apart when God tells you to move (literally or figuratively); or do you deny yourself, take up your cross, follow Him and find true life (Matt 16:24-25)? Are you constantly trying to arrange your life so it is comfortable and stable, or are you giving God your life to use as He sees fit? Can you experience peace despite your circumstances (Phil 4:7), or do you find peace only when things go as you would hope or plan? Oswald Chambers said, “there is only one thing you can consecrate to God and that is the right to yourself (Rom12:1)”. He goes on to say, “the saint realizes that it is God Who engineers circumstances, consequently there is no whine, but a reckless abandon to Jesus.” The really cool thing is… there is peace in reckless abandon, in the laying down of our desire for stability and predictability, in forsaking our need to control our lives and the lives of others, and allowing Jesus to be our guide one day at a time (Matt 6:32-34). Our Father is so good. His burden is easy and His guiding yoke is light. It is in reckless abandon to Him (not predictability or stability in this life) that He tells us we will find rest for our souls (Matt 11:29-30). And that is no small thing.

Prayer: Oh Lord, help me to lay down those things which keep me from experiencing your peace. Take my right to myself, my day, my calendar, my expectations, my need to control, my desire for stability and predictability, and help me to live in reckless abandon to You. May I give glory to You no matter what this day brings. May I only desire to stay under the shelter of Your wings, for you are my rock, my protector and my comforter (Ps 61:3-4). Amen..

A bat in my basement!

And the sweetness of a man’s friend gives delight by hearty counsel.
Prov 27:9

“Mom, hurry!” Two frantic words which jolt any Mom to attention! I had just collapsed on the porch swing after an exhausting Saturday when, again, the words rang out: “Hurry, Mom! There is a BAT in the basement!” Running to the backyard, I found my seventeen-year-old proudly trapping a hissing, long-toothed bat under a snow shovel. “Oh,” he very calmly exclaims, “I forgot to tell you. I saw the bat in the basement about five days ago.” What! He forgot to mention a bat in the basement! Are you kidding me?! You don’t withhold bat-in-the-basement information! Truthfully, my family probably feared that I would call in the National Guard… but nonetheless, having a bat in your basement is just something you need to know.

Pondering the entire incident as I lay in bed that night, I wondered how many times I had walked around in the basement unaware of the bat. Then a scarier thought hit me: How many times in my life have I been unaware of things that could really hurt me and those around me? Things that needed to be identified and removed…ugly things called sin. But how do you see sin? How do you know it is there? For me, God has used two things over and over – His Word and real friends. The Bible says the Word is like a mirror we can use to look at ourselves (Jas 1:23). It will never return void (Isa 55:11), it helps us understand and lights our way (Ps 119:104-106). Through His Word, God has shown me things which just don’t belong in my life. In addition, He has used good friends who love the Lord and love me enough to boldly speak truth to me when they see sin in my life. We all need to seek out this kind of friend, and we can’t run them off when they point out things we might not want to see. Yes, it may ruffle our feathers, and sparks might fly when “iron sharpens iron” (Prov 27:17); but we have to hang in there to reap the wonderful benefits of this kind of true friendship. Honestly, don’t you want to know when there is a “bat in your basement” that needs to be removed? If so, cultivate real friends and let them speak truth to you. Run to God’s Word. Listen to what He has to say. He will give you the power to remove whatever it is He shows you and help you walk on to more freedom and a joyous, closer walk with Him.

Prayer: Father, I want to know if I have allowed sin to settle into my life. I pray you will show me things which will hurt me and those around me. I pray you will bring friends into my life who know You, know Your Word, and who will speak truth to me when I am outside of your will. Help me to daily hold up the mirror of your precious Word and grow in wisdom. Help me to see sin, and help me to obey You and walk away from it. Thank you for loving me so much and being my strength to live freely as your child – no longer in bondage to sin. I love you Lord. Amen.

I despise myself

My ears had heard of you
but now my eyes have seen you. Therefore I despise myself
and repent in dust and ashes.”
Job 42:5-6

I despise myself. I think you should despise yourself too. I know, I know….what about self-confidence and all the psycho-mumbo-jumbo about loving yourself? I have watched Dr. Phil and Oprah too. But have you also tuned into Job? You know the guy in the Bible that had everything bad happen to him? For years, I thought of Job (and secretly compared some of my hard times to his when trying to understand the reason for it all). I thought to myself… all that hard time helped Job grow up in his faith from “hearing about God” to really seeing Him (“My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you” Job 42:5). Yet, somehow in all my years of reading God’s Word, I had jumped right past the next thing Job said. It is a very politically-incorrect kind of verse (but you know God is known for telling it like it is and His Word is called “truth”). So anyhow, the verse right after “now my eyes have seen you” says: “I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes” Job 42:6. I finally “saw” this verse the other day and, to be honest, I have to tell you, when my eyes look to my King and then they turn to the person I know I am…I get pretty sick of myself. I know my ugly thoughts, my terrible actions, my stupid sins and I cannot understand why the sinless one, the perfect one, would die for me. I don’t have it in me to fix myself or save myself (and neither do you). In fact, I have nothing to be confident in my self about when it comes to my need for a Savior. When I face the reality of who I am compared to Who He is (The Most High God)…it makes no sense that He would die for me. How else can I respond except to be deeply humbled, despising myself and my sin and turning away from the very things that nailed Jesus to the Cross? My sweet Savior remembers my sins no more… but I remember them with a thankful (no longer guilty) heart knowing I owe Jesus everything.

So what about you? Have you bought into the lies of this world? Have you bought the books on “loving yourself”? Do you “excuse yourself” and explain away sin due to how you were raised or some other card you don’t think you should have been dealt? Have you ever really gotten sick of your full-of-sin self? Have you ever faced the hard reality of just how MUCH you need a Savior? Are you sorry that your past and future sins are what pierced His Hands and His Feet? If you have really “seen” Jesus there is no other response except to despise yourself, ask Him to save you and turn away from sin. If you are His child, you cannot look at Jesus, look at yourself, hear His Word and go away unchanged and unrepentant as if you don’t owe Him EVERYTHING. If you know what you are doing is sin and you keep on doing it without despising yourself … the Bible says you are deceived. “Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like.” James 1:22-24. I know what I look like. Do you? But I also know my ugly sin is covered by a robe of white bought with the highest of price--the blood of a The Perfect Lamb. I am redeemed, accepted and called His Child because of what He chose to do. Loving myself doesn’t really amount to a “hill of beans” when I think about how much He loves me!

Prayer: Oh Jesus, thank you. Thank you for seeing me like I really am and still going to that Cross for me. Help me to put away my old, sinful self and live as you would have me live by the power of your blood. You alone are Holy. May I daily give my life to You. May I obey You in all things, and may I live my life with a thankful heart desiring to give You glory. Amen.

Thunder, me and my dog

When I am afraid I will trust in you.
Psalms 56:3

She tries to squeeze under me rather than sit beside me. She shivers with fear after only one rumble of thunder. I wonder what her little-dog-mind is imagining will happen. As much as I pet her and try to calmly assure her with my sweetest of voices that she is okay …her shivering always continues until the storm passes by. No matter how hard I try to convince her that she is indeed “just fine”, my little Maltese clings to her fear in the midst of the storm. I have often wondered why she doesn’t relax by my side and trust she is safe in our warm home. Then, the thought hit me … I am so much like my little, chicken-of-a-dog when life gets scary. So many times, I only see the storm. I worry about the “what-ifs” and I forget to cling to my Father and relax in His promises. Why can’t my first instinct be to rest in Him rather than give in to fear and worry? God tells me He will never leave me nor forsake me (Deut 31:6) and He cannot lie (Num 23:19). He tells me He is my strong tower (Ps 61:3) and a very present help in times of trouble (Ps 46:1). He tells me His plans for me are exceedingly, abundantly good (Eph 3:20). He tells me He can use even the hard things for my good if I will just stick close and obey Him (Rom 8:28). God tells me He is my strength and power to do what He has called me to do and to handle what comes into my life (2 Tim 3:17). He tells me I can even ask Him to help me believe Him when I am struggling to do so (Mark 9:24). Oh, what courage there is for my trembling soul in the promises of God!

Are you shaking in your boots? Do you hear only the thunder of trouble around you or do you hear that still, quiet, reassuring, Holy Spirit voice whispering courage-giving promises of God to you? Have you hidden His Word in your heart so you can refute the lies of the enemy that make you want to shiver in fear? God is with His children. He cannot disown you or forget about you (2 Tim 2:13). He is the perfect Father and He owns the cattle on a thousand hills (Ps 50:10). His power has overcome the grave (Heb 2:14) and He is so concerned with you that He has numbered every hair on your head (Matt 10:30) and holds every tear you have ever cried in a bottle (Ps 56:8). He is the Ancient of Days (Dan 7:22) who will right the wrongs and bring beauty from ashes (Isa 61:3). He has prepared a place for His children and His Name is Faithful and True (Rev 19:11). May we hear His voice and remember His promises over the thunder. May we rest in His peace, and when life gets hard, may we simply see it as an opportunity to draw closer to our Redeemer.

Lord, you know my worries. You know my fears. Please help me to hear your promises over the thunder. Help me to see trials as an opportunity to draw closer to You. Teach me to more quickly rest in your truth and walk forward in courage and strength that comes from You. I love you Lord. When I am afraid I will trust in you. You are bigger than anything coming my way. Amen.

Desperate

Daughter, be of good cheer; your faith has made you well. Go in peace.
Luke 8:48

He arrived in town with rock star status. Famous. The crowds pushed in and hundreds of hands reached out to touch him. Yet, her hand was different. Her need to draw close, to touch him was not born of curiosity. She wasn’t caught up in the emotion of the crowd. She desperately needed to touch him. For years she had struggled with the same devastating problem. She couldn’t fix it herself; she had sought answers from others and exhausted all her resources. She was at the end of her rope and the end of herself. Unlike the multitude of others who wanted to touch Him, she reached out believing with all her heart-- He was the only answer. Many hands reached for Him that day; but only one caused Him to pause as He felt His mighty, healing power being poured out to her. She drew close to Him with a desperate, end-of-herself, believing faith and she was forever healed. This magnificent, more-than-head knowledge, more than follow-the-crowd, more than give-it-a-try until something better comes along… this draw-close-to Jesus, believing faith is the kind of belief that leads to healing and salvation (Luke 8:42-48). This kind of belief is what Jesus means when He says “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty. But as I told you, you have seen me and still you do not believe. (John 6:35-36).” Could it be that you have you seen Him and still don’t believe Him?

Have you heard about Him all of your life but have you every really believed Him? I’m not asking if you believe in His existence or even believe Jesus is the Son of God (the demons even believe that- see Mark 5:6). I am asking do you really believe in Him? Do you desperately draw close to Him because He is the only answer, the only Savior; or is He just an empty religion, Sunday thing? Do you have a believing faith that leads to salvation and real, lasting peace… no matter what life may bring?

Do you think these stories of faith only exist in the Bible? Do you find this kind of belief in someone you cannot see unfathomable? Will you consider that though you cannot see Jesus, like the crowd did that day; that He is reaching out to you? Perhaps in the words you are reading now. Perhaps you have gone to church all your life but you have never really believed in Him. Are you at the end of yourself … at the end of your rope? Are you done trying all the other things that cannot heal, cannot satisfy and cannot save? Have you strayed away? Do you need to run back to Him and reach out to Him? The living Savior, Jesus Christ is the only way. He is real and He is peace.

I am including a letter my dear friend and mentor, Karen Alexander Doyel’s son, Stephen wrote this just a few days ago. Karen is a women’s ministry teacher for Lifeway and loves the Lord like few I have ever known. Years ago, her preacher husband tragically fell from a cliff to his death while his boys desperately tried to save him. In the years that followed, her son Stephen has battled cancer and has been told if it comes back it will spread aggressively. Karen herself now has stage 4 Leukemia and stage 4 Lymphoma. This family is desperate; but not in the way you might think… they are desperate to draw close to Jesus and for others to do the same. Will you read this letter from Stephen? He is a young husband and father to a toddler named Luke (funny, that is where our passage comes from today). Will you ask yourself - do you believe this Jesus? Are you desperate to draw close to Him like this?

Hey Family,
I’m calling on you once again for prayer. Yesterday Carrie & I went to my cancer doctor for my regular check up and to see if a hearing aid would be an option to help the hearing in my left ear. The day didn’t go as we had planned. After testing my hearing, the doctor told us that the type of hearing loss that I have is “very atypical” and he does not believe that the radiation caused the damage. He told us that he thought an auditory tumor(s) could be causing it. He has scheduled me for an MRI in one week (as soon as they could get me in) and the results of that test won’t be until the 20th.
Now God is calling us again to wait and trust in Him for our peace and joy. We have been in this place before and we know without a doubt that God is in control and His will is best. As Easter is approaching I am excited that He is calling Carrie and I to draw so close to Him – even if it’s out of our desperation. Please pray that God will ignite a fire in my heart to use this opportunity for His glory and to show all who will listen that Jesus is my strength and He is all we need. I know that I am weak and that I cannot handle these things , if it take my eyes off of Jesus then the waves of fear, doubt, anxiety & sadness quickly begin to crash all around me – but I am calling out to Jesus and He is STRONG.
You all know my history, but much more importantly – you know my heart. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again:
- After my dad fell off of Bluff Point and I found myself hanging on the side of that cliff for my life in the pitch black darkness – I cried out to Jesus and He heard my cry and He came to my rescue! I could have never made it thru the loss of my dad and best friend without Jesus.
- When I got the phone call from my doctor (who had previously told me that there was only a 10% chance that the tumor they found would be malignant) and all he said was, “It’s cancer – you will begin the radiation treatments as soon as possible” – and he hung up the phone. My knees buckled and lost all strength, the tears and snot began to flow and I cried out to Jesus for help and He heard my cry and He came to my rescue!
- When the mask was put over my face and bolted to the radiation table, everyone had to leave the room and the lights went out and the lasers began moving all around, I simply said: “My Father in heaven, hallowed be Your name” and day after day in that place where no one could be with me - Jesus fellowshipped with me and He taught me a new way to pray. And even though I’d get home and look in the mirror and see my gums separating from my teeth, burns all thru my mouth and my throat - literally my body wasting away right in front of my eyes – I began to look forward too and cherish the time I had with my Lord in that special place – because He heard my cries and He came to my rescue!
- When I found my cancer ridden mother in her bed with a 105 fever, shaking uncontrollably and not even able to speak, and I carried her in my arms out to my car and drove 100+mph all the way to the ER – not knowing if she would even make it there alive, I cried out to Jesus for my mother and He heard my cry and He came to her rescue! She doesn’t even remember any of that day – but I will never forget. Even though she has stage 4 leukemia and stage 4 lymphoma and the doctors said she should have been dead 2 years ago – she’s sharing her testimony at a church right now as I’m writing this letter.
- Now in this very moment – once again we call out to Jesus, dive into His Word, and rest in Him and Him alone.
I know that this is intense - but my passion is Jesus and in times of trouble He never shies away from the drama in our lives. I love to share about what He means to me and what He has done for me. Please pray that He will continue to give me opportunities to share about and to sing about His amazing salvation He has freely given to all who will come to Him. There is nothing in this world I love to do more! I am so thankful for all of you and for your prayers. Sometimes it takes a wake-up call like this to help me realize how much my church family means to me. You can’t put a price on it! Please don't hesitate to use this in any way the Lord lays on your heart to encourage others to draw near to Jesus - that is my prayer and the desire of my heart.
Let’s all sing to Jesus tomorrow with a true heart of thankfulness – He gave His life so that we can live.
I love you guys and I can’t wait to share the results of the MRI with you on the 20th as we thank God for His amazing love.
Your Brother,
Stephen Alexander


Prayer - Father God, Healer, Holy One… I come before you only because of the blood of your Son. Oh Lord, I ask that you would help me to believe in Jesus like the woman in Luke, like Stephen. I am desperate for Your touch. I ask that You would help me to draw close to You and help me to see You like this. I need You for eternity- for salvation but I am also desperate for You every day. Oh Lord thank you that you tell me I can even ask you to help my unbelief (Mark 9:24). With all that I am I am asking for more of You. And Father, I also ask for Stephen… if it be your will, I ask for healing and I thank you for his heart to proclaim your name so others might see and know you. I love you Lord. Amen.

To learn more about Karen’s ministry and see pictures of her godly family visit www.karenalexanderdoyel.com

To all the worriers

Single Moment
March 9, 2011
But do not worry about your life
Matt 6:25

“Mom what are we going to do about money?” his little brow furrowed with worry not characteristic of most three-year-olds. It seemed only weeks since I had explained Daddy had to go to work to make money so Mommy could buy food for us to eat. But Daddy had died suddenly and now my little one was gripped with worry way beyond his years. I often wondered if my firstborn’s battle with worry all started that day. The issues continued. At five, he had watched a news story about encephalitis and refused to go outside in fear of getting bit by a mosquito and coming down with the illness. For years, I had said all I could to alleviate his tendency to worry; but the words which set him free would come not from me but from his Heavenly Father.

As our family discussed what we had read in God’s Word the other night, my now tall, dark and handsome, seventeen-year-old began by stating “I don’t’ know if you noticed this about me or not but I tend to worry.” “Really?” I almost chuckled at his remark! He then went on to say “but I just find such peace in God’s sovereignty. It is so good to know He is in control.” God is Will’s peace. He has found strength when he takes every thought captive to the obedience of Christ and compares it to truth (2 Cor 10:5). I have seen him rest in the fact that God is all good and that He can use even hard things to bring good into our lives (Rom 8:28) My son knows nothing will come into his life except those things which His all-good, Heavenly Father allows. Will believes God, because he finds truth as he daily reads His Bible. He will tell you that some days he isn’t sure why he read what he read but he keeps reading every day because he says “some days it is like God is speaking right to you”. It has blessed my heart to see God be real to Will. Is Will perfect… nope and neither is his Mom! However, Will has learned there is a place of peace that can only be found in a real, run-to-Jesus-daily, kind of relationship.

Years ago, the enemy attacked our family when my husband took his life. My son wasn’t the only one full of worry and fear. However, there is an anchor for any storm Who is Christ the Lord. He is the One who tells us no matter what life may bring, no matter what worry may beseech us… He will never leave us nor forsake us (Deut 31:6) and He will be peace that surpasses all understanding (Phil 4:7). He is the rock (2 Sam 22:2) and a solid foundation. Are you leaning on Him? Are you walking with Him daily in a real, personal relationship? He didn’t let us down and He won’t let you down either.

Prayer: Father, you know every concern I have. You know my thoughts before I think them. You know what might worry me and you offer me daily truth to comfort me. Help me to run to you and rest in you. I know your plans for me are all good and that you can use even the hard things in my life to bring blessing. You see everything and I only see bits and pieces. Help me to rest in your goodness and your control. Help me to refute the lies of the enemy and walk in peace. Thank you Lord. I know I can count on you. Amen.