Desperate

Daughter, be of good cheer; your faith has made you well. Go in peace.
Luke 8:48

He arrived in town with rock star status. Famous. The crowds pushed in and hundreds of hands reached out to touch him. Yet, her hand was different. Her need to draw close, to touch him was not born of curiosity. She wasn’t caught up in the emotion of the crowd. She desperately needed to touch him. For years she had struggled with the same devastating problem. She couldn’t fix it herself; she had sought answers from others and exhausted all her resources. She was at the end of her rope and the end of herself. Unlike the multitude of others who wanted to touch Him, she reached out believing with all her heart-- He was the only answer. Many hands reached for Him that day; but only one caused Him to pause as He felt His mighty, healing power being poured out to her. She drew close to Him with a desperate, end-of-herself, believing faith and she was forever healed. This magnificent, more-than-head knowledge, more than follow-the-crowd, more than give-it-a-try until something better comes along… this draw-close-to Jesus, believing faith is the kind of belief that leads to healing and salvation (Luke 8:42-48). This kind of belief is what Jesus means when He says “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty. But as I told you, you have seen me and still you do not believe. (John 6:35-36).” Could it be that you have you seen Him and still don’t believe Him?

Have you heard about Him all of your life but have you every really believed Him? I’m not asking if you believe in His existence or even believe Jesus is the Son of God (the demons even believe that- see Mark 5:6). I am asking do you really believe in Him? Do you desperately draw close to Him because He is the only answer, the only Savior; or is He just an empty religion, Sunday thing? Do you have a believing faith that leads to salvation and real, lasting peace… no matter what life may bring?

Do you think these stories of faith only exist in the Bible? Do you find this kind of belief in someone you cannot see unfathomable? Will you consider that though you cannot see Jesus, like the crowd did that day; that He is reaching out to you? Perhaps in the words you are reading now. Perhaps you have gone to church all your life but you have never really believed in Him. Are you at the end of yourself … at the end of your rope? Are you done trying all the other things that cannot heal, cannot satisfy and cannot save? Have you strayed away? Do you need to run back to Him and reach out to Him? The living Savior, Jesus Christ is the only way. He is real and He is peace.

I am including a letter my dear friend and mentor, Karen Alexander Doyel’s son, Stephen wrote this just a few days ago. Karen is a women’s ministry teacher for Lifeway and loves the Lord like few I have ever known. Years ago, her preacher husband tragically fell from a cliff to his death while his boys desperately tried to save him. In the years that followed, her son Stephen has battled cancer and has been told if it comes back it will spread aggressively. Karen herself now has stage 4 Leukemia and stage 4 Lymphoma. This family is desperate; but not in the way you might think… they are desperate to draw close to Jesus and for others to do the same. Will you read this letter from Stephen? He is a young husband and father to a toddler named Luke (funny, that is where our passage comes from today). Will you ask yourself - do you believe this Jesus? Are you desperate to draw close to Him like this?

Hey Family,
I’m calling on you once again for prayer. Yesterday Carrie & I went to my cancer doctor for my regular check up and to see if a hearing aid would be an option to help the hearing in my left ear. The day didn’t go as we had planned. After testing my hearing, the doctor told us that the type of hearing loss that I have is “very atypical” and he does not believe that the radiation caused the damage. He told us that he thought an auditory tumor(s) could be causing it. He has scheduled me for an MRI in one week (as soon as they could get me in) and the results of that test won’t be until the 20th.
Now God is calling us again to wait and trust in Him for our peace and joy. We have been in this place before and we know without a doubt that God is in control and His will is best. As Easter is approaching I am excited that He is calling Carrie and I to draw so close to Him – even if it’s out of our desperation. Please pray that God will ignite a fire in my heart to use this opportunity for His glory and to show all who will listen that Jesus is my strength and He is all we need. I know that I am weak and that I cannot handle these things , if it take my eyes off of Jesus then the waves of fear, doubt, anxiety & sadness quickly begin to crash all around me – but I am calling out to Jesus and He is STRONG.
You all know my history, but much more importantly – you know my heart. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again:
- After my dad fell off of Bluff Point and I found myself hanging on the side of that cliff for my life in the pitch black darkness – I cried out to Jesus and He heard my cry and He came to my rescue! I could have never made it thru the loss of my dad and best friend without Jesus.
- When I got the phone call from my doctor (who had previously told me that there was only a 10% chance that the tumor they found would be malignant) and all he said was, “It’s cancer – you will begin the radiation treatments as soon as possible” – and he hung up the phone. My knees buckled and lost all strength, the tears and snot began to flow and I cried out to Jesus for help and He heard my cry and He came to my rescue!
- When the mask was put over my face and bolted to the radiation table, everyone had to leave the room and the lights went out and the lasers began moving all around, I simply said: “My Father in heaven, hallowed be Your name” and day after day in that place where no one could be with me - Jesus fellowshipped with me and He taught me a new way to pray. And even though I’d get home and look in the mirror and see my gums separating from my teeth, burns all thru my mouth and my throat - literally my body wasting away right in front of my eyes – I began to look forward too and cherish the time I had with my Lord in that special place – because He heard my cries and He came to my rescue!
- When I found my cancer ridden mother in her bed with a 105 fever, shaking uncontrollably and not even able to speak, and I carried her in my arms out to my car and drove 100+mph all the way to the ER – not knowing if she would even make it there alive, I cried out to Jesus for my mother and He heard my cry and He came to her rescue! She doesn’t even remember any of that day – but I will never forget. Even though she has stage 4 leukemia and stage 4 lymphoma and the doctors said she should have been dead 2 years ago – she’s sharing her testimony at a church right now as I’m writing this letter.
- Now in this very moment – once again we call out to Jesus, dive into His Word, and rest in Him and Him alone.
I know that this is intense - but my passion is Jesus and in times of trouble He never shies away from the drama in our lives. I love to share about what He means to me and what He has done for me. Please pray that He will continue to give me opportunities to share about and to sing about His amazing salvation He has freely given to all who will come to Him. There is nothing in this world I love to do more! I am so thankful for all of you and for your prayers. Sometimes it takes a wake-up call like this to help me realize how much my church family means to me. You can’t put a price on it! Please don't hesitate to use this in any way the Lord lays on your heart to encourage others to draw near to Jesus - that is my prayer and the desire of my heart.
Let’s all sing to Jesus tomorrow with a true heart of thankfulness – He gave His life so that we can live.
I love you guys and I can’t wait to share the results of the MRI with you on the 20th as we thank God for His amazing love.
Your Brother,
Stephen Alexander


Prayer - Father God, Healer, Holy One… I come before you only because of the blood of your Son. Oh Lord, I ask that you would help me to believe in Jesus like the woman in Luke, like Stephen. I am desperate for Your touch. I ask that You would help me to draw close to You and help me to see You like this. I need You for eternity- for salvation but I am also desperate for You every day. Oh Lord thank you that you tell me I can even ask you to help my unbelief (Mark 9:24). With all that I am I am asking for more of You. And Father, I also ask for Stephen… if it be your will, I ask for healing and I thank you for his heart to proclaim your name so others might see and know you. I love you Lord. Amen.

To learn more about Karen’s ministry and see pictures of her godly family visit www.karenalexanderdoyel.com

To all the worriers

Single Moment
March 9, 2011
But do not worry about your life
Matt 6:25

“Mom what are we going to do about money?” his little brow furrowed with worry not characteristic of most three-year-olds. It seemed only weeks since I had explained Daddy had to go to work to make money so Mommy could buy food for us to eat. But Daddy had died suddenly and now my little one was gripped with worry way beyond his years. I often wondered if my firstborn’s battle with worry all started that day. The issues continued. At five, he had watched a news story about encephalitis and refused to go outside in fear of getting bit by a mosquito and coming down with the illness. For years, I had said all I could to alleviate his tendency to worry; but the words which set him free would come not from me but from his Heavenly Father.

As our family discussed what we had read in God’s Word the other night, my now tall, dark and handsome, seventeen-year-old began by stating “I don’t’ know if you noticed this about me or not but I tend to worry.” “Really?” I almost chuckled at his remark! He then went on to say “but I just find such peace in God’s sovereignty. It is so good to know He is in control.” God is Will’s peace. He has found strength when he takes every thought captive to the obedience of Christ and compares it to truth (2 Cor 10:5). I have seen him rest in the fact that God is all good and that He can use even hard things to bring good into our lives (Rom 8:28) My son knows nothing will come into his life except those things which His all-good, Heavenly Father allows. Will believes God, because he finds truth as he daily reads His Bible. He will tell you that some days he isn’t sure why he read what he read but he keeps reading every day because he says “some days it is like God is speaking right to you”. It has blessed my heart to see God be real to Will. Is Will perfect… nope and neither is his Mom! However, Will has learned there is a place of peace that can only be found in a real, run-to-Jesus-daily, kind of relationship.

Years ago, the enemy attacked our family when my husband took his life. My son wasn’t the only one full of worry and fear. However, there is an anchor for any storm Who is Christ the Lord. He is the One who tells us no matter what life may bring, no matter what worry may beseech us… He will never leave us nor forsake us (Deut 31:6) and He will be peace that surpasses all understanding (Phil 4:7). He is the rock (2 Sam 22:2) and a solid foundation. Are you leaning on Him? Are you walking with Him daily in a real, personal relationship? He didn’t let us down and He won’t let you down either.

Prayer: Father, you know every concern I have. You know my thoughts before I think them. You know what might worry me and you offer me daily truth to comfort me. Help me to run to you and rest in you. I know your plans for me are all good and that you can use even the hard things in my life to bring blessing. You see everything and I only see bits and pieces. Help me to rest in your goodness and your control. Help me to refute the lies of the enemy and walk in peace. Thank you Lord. I know I can count on you. Amen.

Why hasn't God fixed this yet?

May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.
I Thess 5:23

So many times I have wondered “God, what are you doing? Why haven’t you fixed this yet?” So many times I have prayerfully offered up my best solutions and wondered why God has not acted in His power to fix things the way I think He should fix them. Yet, looking back… those hard times, those waiting times, those “if You don’t hurry God I am going to die” times, were sanctifying times which resulted in powerful freedom. Oswald Chambers says sanctification is “intense concentration on God’s point of view” which results in “freedom from everything that is unlike Him”. My friend Karen calls hard times which cause us to look intently at God -- “shaking”. It is so true that God often uses shaky times, to shake out stuff in my life that is unlike His Son. Why should I be surprised? God tells us He is going to do it. He is working in you and me to sanctify us wholly (1 Thess 5:23). The old church signs are true: “He loves us too much to leave us the way He found us” and I am convinced He will not stop until we get it… even if that means sending the same lesson more than once. Been there done that!

To truly learn during our times of shaking (and maybe avoid repeating the lesson), we have to hold on to truth. Yet so often, when life gets crazy, when the answers are slow coming, we are tempted to think: “God doesn’t care, He isn’t at work, He isn’t involved in my life or He is late.” God’s Word tells us all this is untrue. He tells us to seek Him and we will find Him (Jer 29:13). He tells us to call on Him, pray to Him and search for Him with everything we have – all our heart. The God (who cannot lie – Tit 1:2) says when we do--we will find Him (Jer 29:12). His plans for us are all good (Jer 29:11) and His intent is to shake out the stuff that causes us pain and help us grow deep roots so we can “be more than conquerors” (Rom 8:37) in this life. In seeking God, in clinging to Him, He teaches us to stand in peace, that makes no earthly sense, and shows us He really can bring good out of those things Satan intends for evil (Rom 8:28). When we keep on seeking Him and keep on obeying Him (rather than going outside of His will for a quick answer), we experience true peace, lasting joy, and unfading hope.

However, blessed answers won’t come when our eyes are fixed on the problem or when we plead only for an “acceptable” answer we have defined. No, if we want the blessing our hearts and minds have to be fixed on the Most High God AND we must surrender our will to His will. The most intense freedom I have ever felt in my life was when, through tears, I prayed “Lord, work this out however you want so that You receive glory. You are God and I am not. I trust You more than I trust me”. Can I tell you there is incredible peace and freedom in this kind of surrendered prayer? Can I also tell you that if God can help a baby like me pray it…He will definitely be your strength to do so?

Prayer: Father, I surrender all to You. I want You more than I want the answers to my problems. I know everything that comes into my life comes through your hand and I know when I follow you… you can bring good from the hard times. Help me Lord to shake free of those things which are not like your Son and help me want what you want. Lord, you tell me you are faithful and you will do it (I Thess 5:24). I trust you will finish this good work you started in me (Phil 1:6)… so take it all Lord and may you receive glory from my life. I believe you Lord. Help even my unbelief (Mark 9:24). Amen.

What's love got to do with it?

No one who is born of God will continue to sin, because God’s seed remains in them; they cannot go on sinning, because they have been born of God
I John 3:9

I’m getting a little concerned about what I am hearing about “God’s love”. One of my children recently retorted during a time of correction that “God is ALL about love” and not this “rule stuff”. The other day I heard a country DJ tell her audience that “God loves you so much. He doesn’t care what you have done.” True, words cannot describe the depth of God’s love. However, we should be careful not to allow the enemy to twist our thinking on this. The enemy would have us believe God is solely interested in our feelings of love towards Him and that He doesn’t care what we do. This grace/love- heavy message fits well in pulpits seeking to be politically correct. However, the Bible emphatically tells us God is very concerned about what we do. Yes, He tells us over and over He loves us and we know His blood alone covers our sins, but Jesus minced no words when He said “If you love me, obey me” John 14:23. Of course, the enemy seems to work both spectrums of the “obey thing” to try to confuse us. Either we feel like we have to work so hard to earn our way to God or we jump on the “all-love-no-pain train” and believe we can continually practice sin without guilt or repercussions because God is ALL about loving us.

So how should you live? If you have the golden ticket to Heaven, aren’t all your sins (future ones too) forgiven? However, if you can live in sin (not just step in it occasionally), if you can practice sin without the Holy Spirit wearing you out…don’t you wonder if you really love Jesus? Do you have a real, two-way love relationship with Him or do you have a fire-insurance religion that has never changed your life? 1 John 3:9 says “ No one who is born of God will continue to sin, because God’s seed remains in them; they cannot go on sinning, because they have been born of God.” Yes, yes, we all sin, but there is a difference in sinning and living a life where you deliberately choose to sin. Friend, you can’t walk with the Lord if one foot is stuck in this world. It is time to kick free of all that is holding you back! Jesus is standing with arms wide open. Oh yes, He loves you soooo much but He doesn’t want your devotion to a religion or a cause. He says the number one thing He wants you to do is to love Him with all your heart, soul, mind and strength (Mark 12:30) and He makes no beans about it… if you love Him obey Him. And by the way, those “rules” – those things He will ask you to do or not do, are His way of guiding you to His wonderful best because He loves you.

Prayer: Oh Father, help me to live in your grace and walk in your truth. Oh, Holy Spirit be loud. Let me hear your voice and show me any sin which is keeping me from all you have for me. Forgive me and strengthen me to turn from that. Help me to love what you love and obey you because I love you. I know you are for me – you died for me. I know your blood and your blood alone covers my sins. I also know you want all of me – my heart, my soul, my mind and my strength. Take it all Jesus. Amen.

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A very long bad mood

Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Psalm 42:5

I have been in a bad mood for what seems like a very long time. Oh, I have some circumstantial and hormonal reasons contributing to my less-than-chipper attitude. Some of you might pat my back and tell me I deserve to feel and act this way, and years ago, I might have excused myself too. However, I have been with Jesus. I have tasted His peace despite crazy circumstances and I can no longer excuse this rebellion in my heart and frankly that is what this big, fat, bad mood is! Rebellion! Can I really love God with all my heart, soul, mind and strength (Luke 10:27) and be in a bad mood? God desires my obedience more than sacrifice (or service or ministry) 1 Sam 15:22. He wants me to hear and obey His voice in the moments of the day He has given me to live. He tells me this struggle (and girl isn’t it a struggle when life knocks you down or hormones are raging?)- this struggle isn’t against flesh and blood (Eph 6:12) . God tells me I am wrestling with the enemy who wants to take me down and my only (ONLY) source of strength, my only chance of avoiding the guilt of my next mess up is to be continually strengthened in the Lord (Eph 6:10).

Frankly, I am sick of myself and thoroughly convinced that I have zero ability to walk in joy, peace and hope without a continual denial of myself, my way, my rights, my desires and a complete submission in all things to God….and it is not just enough to say it. I have to live it out in the moment when the choice comes. When I am offended, when I am tired, when I am heart-broken, when life stinks; I have to choose, in that moment, to kneel to the authority and wisdom of the Lord Jesus Christ. I have to submit and rely on His Holy Spirit strength to do it. I am tired of battling the same battles and asking for forgiveness for the same sin. I want to live the blessed life and go from strength to strength with my heart stayed on the Living God (Psalm 84:5-7)… I am tired of being tossed to and fro by circumstances and emotions. I want to grow up (Eph 4:15) and press on to take hold of that prize which is Christ Jesus (Phil 3:14)… don’t you? Our Savior died and for those who know Him- the old has passed and the new has come… I want to walk in that freedom--- not my old sin-filled, sick-of-myself nature… don’t you? Only in the moment-to-moment choice to follow Him and not my flesh can I be angry and not sin, be free from bitterness, forgive others and be kind (Eph 4:25-32) and experience joy and peace in the midst of this crazy life.

Prayer: Oh Savior, forgive me for losing my joy. How can the bride be dismayed when the Bridegroom is coming? How can I act as if I am unclean when your precious blood has already made me clean? Oh Father, I am weak but You are strength. May I abide continually in You and when the moments of choice come by way… may I submit to the your will where all joy, peace and hope reside despite all the evil one will throw at me. I love you Lord. May I live like it. Amen.

Am I still a slave to chocolate cake?

People are slaves to whatever has mastered them
2 Peter 2:19

“God is not against you having things; He is against things having you.” (Vodie Bachaum). As I think about that statement and all the New Year’s resolutions I have heard…I am amazed at the connection. How many of us have resolved to lose weight? (does food have us?) How many of us have vowed to save money? Do we purchase things and overspend in seeking satisfaction that never seems to last? Do things have us? Why do we do what we do and why can’t we not do what we don’t want to do? The Bible says “people are slaves to whatever has mastered them.” 2 Pet 2:19. If Jesus- the Freedom Giver - is your Master other things lose their ability to master you.

If Jesus has set you free you are free indeed (John 8:36). Do you realize the power in this? Do you live this way? In those moments of temptation to live as your old self - as a slave (to food, money, your past, your temper, guilt etc) do you stop and ask yourself “Am I doing this to the glory of Christ or in a relentless pursuit to bring about my own happiness?” As hard as we try will we will never on our own control things and “fix life” and find that elusive, lasting joy we seek. The Bible says “whoever loses his life for my sake will find it” (Matt 10:39). When I lose the “For ME” mentality and live my life “FOR Jesus”, joy is no longer elusive. When I do all things to His glory, things no longer have a hold on me – not food, not money, not relationships, not perfectionism, not (you fill in the blank). When in the moment of day-to-day living I stop and ask myself “Does this bring glory to the King?” I no longer live as a slave to all those other things which will in themselves never bring freedom.

So this New Year… may we all remember in Christ we are a NEW creation. The old has passed and no longer has control over us (2 Cor 5:17). If Jesus is our Master other things do not have the power to master us. In the moment of temptation, He will be our strength to walk away from those things which continue to hurt us and never satisfy….if we seek to bring Him glory. May nothing master us except the One who loves us perfectly and who bought us with a great price…the One who truly satisfies.

Father, show me the things which I have allowed to master me. May you alone be my Master and may I stop in those moments of temptation and ask myself “does this bring You glory?” May I walk in the freedom from those things which never satisfy whether it be eating that piece of chocolate cake, losing my temper, living in the past, etc and instead live my life to bring You glory. I know that You will help me and you will be my strength and I know this is where true joy can be found. I love you Lord. May I live this day for you. Amen.

Loving and Dieing

We know we have passed from death to life, because we love our brothers. Anyone who does not love remains in death.
1 John 3:14

My sweet former father-in-law is close to death. Family and Hospice workers tend to his needs as we prepare to say goodbye. I met him when I was just eighteen. Four years later I would marry his son and within six years we would stand together at my husband and his son’s funeral. Last Friday, he held my hand and told me he would be dieing soon, he also told me how he has always loved me and that he hoped he had always been good to me. Thinking back, I cannot remember him ever saying an unkind word to me in the twenty four years I have enjoyed a close relationship with him.

Unless Jesus comes back first we will all die; but the Bible says those who “do not love remain in death”. Like a cancer, unkindness, bitterness and hatred seem to keep so many in a state of sick turmoil. Yet, the Bible says those who love their brothers pass from death to life. The funny thing about love is how freeing it can be. It not only frees us from apology at our death bed but also frees us to live our days in true “life”. I have had to stop and ponder my life this week… has it been characterized by love? Do I see the best in people? Do I offer them mercy and grace? Am I kind to random strangers and (sometimes even more difficult) those who I call family? Do I love my enemies and experience the freedom this brings or do I give them power to keep me in turmoil by staying bitter towards them? It isn’t always easy to love but it is always worth it.

This time of year – this Christmas time of year – what will you choose? Will you choose a life of love or remain miserably living in death? The gift of love you choose (yes decide) to give others may be the greatest gift you can give yourself second only to choosing the greatest gift of all – a personal relationship with the One who loved the unlovely (us) first. Choose love… Jesus did and you can too with His help.

Father, thank you for your Word which is life. Thank you for your Holy Spirit which is power to love even the unlovely. Thank you Lord for loving me first and thank you for the freedom which comes from loving you and and loving others. May my life be one lived without regret and may I love others deeply and without reservation so I can walk in freedom and give glory to your Name. Amen.