When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned…
Isa 43:2
The air suddenly seemed heavier. My heart began to race, and my breathing
became harder. Once again my mind raced
back to that horrible time, and what had been a sunny day, became obliterated
by painful memories. Once again I found
myself at a “pain place”. Living in the
same town where my husband took his life, my life still takes me to the place
where the detectives told me they had found his body; and I sometimes have to
drive very near the place where he killed himself. Fifteen years have passed. Life has moved on, and I have had many happy
days… but something about these two places transport every emotion back to that
gut-wrenching time. These are my pain
places. We all have places that remind
us of pain--where years-gone-by emotions can suddenly, almost physically,
overwhelm us. For some of us, it is as
if we have built an altar there, and we worship that pain. But do we have to?
As I stood in one of my pain places last week, and began to
feel my body shudder with those memories; God reminded me I had never stood
there alone—“When you pass through the
waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not
sweep over you. When you walk through the
fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.” Isa
43:2. God alone “heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds” (Ps 147:3). It was as if He was asking me to finally tear
down that pain monument, and replace it with a monument to Him. He beckoned me to walk in freedom-- even in
this place which reminded me of so much pain.
He asked me to allow this pain place to cause me to worship all He has
done for me rather than all the enemy had tried to do. Remembering that God inhabits the praise of
His people, I began to silently cry out praises to Him. I thanked Him for picking up my broken heart,
for providing for me and my little boys, and for carrying me when I did not
think I could go on. As I remembered
God’s goodness, it was if the demons dropped their weapons and moved on. The air began to feel lighter, and I began
to notice the laughter of people around me.
Once again, my faithful Father brought victory out of darkness. Once again, I looked up at Heaven and smiled--
remembering He is my refuge and an ever-present help in times of trouble (Ps
46:1) and places of trouble. That day my place of pain became a place of
praise.
Now I won’t lie. I
fully expect the next time I find myself (walking through the fire at my pain
place)… I will remember the pain… but I won’t be consumed (I won’t be burned) by
it. I will instead praise my Father who
has always been with me, and who is still teaching me to walk closer to
Him. He is peace, hope and joy. And we can remember that not only in our
places of victory… but maybe, even more, in our places of pain.
Prayer: Father, may those places of pain…those places
where we received the bad news, those places where we have hurt so deeply serve
to remind us of your faithfulness. May
we tear down the altars to the pain, and with your help, rebuild them as altars
of praise. As we stand in these places,
may we be remember we, are indeed, still standing… because of You. Thank you Lord that you alone can bring
beauty from ashes in everything and at every place. Amen.
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