Missing God

My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When can I go and meet with God?
Psalms 41:2

I have felt like Eeyore lately. It seems like one hard, irritating thing after another has happened. Life has been busy and distracting. And can I be honest? I am not sure if you will want to hear this or not… unless, of course, it has happened to you. Okay, so, are you ready?... I have felt somewhat distant from God. It isn’t that I have been caught up in sin, or that I have neglected reading my Bible. I have gone to church, and I have done all the things that I normally do… yet, God just doesn’t feel as close. I don’t know why the seasons of feeling distant come… but they have come before. Thankfully (and with hallelulajah) they always end! Suddenly, without expectation, one day, God just feels close again. I notice His presence in the many colors of the sunset; I hear His joy in the belly laughter of my children; it is as if my hands, once again, can almost reach out and touch Him in the chorus of a praise song. I am never sure what precipitates the resurrection of that wonderful, unexplainable, delightful, feeling of intimacy with my Heavenly Father…I have never figured it out. I guess I never really tried. I am usually too busy basking in the sweet feeling of His presence again.

So when the down days come, when the problems seem louder than my blessings, when I am tired, when my heart is heavy, or when I just don’t feel God (Who is near) near… I hang on. I keep going. I press on knowing He really is there and knowing, though He might not feel close now, He is! And there is peace in knowing I won’t always feel distant like I feel today. In some ways, I think this “missing Him” makes me more thankful and even thirstier for more of Him. Yes, I know, God is so much more than a feeling… but I have to tell you, I love the feeling of a so-close-my-heart-might-burst God.

Prayer: Father, I love You. I love the feeling of Your presence in my life. I want more of You and I miss You so much when you feel distant. Thank you for the incredible joy that it is to walk with You in real fellowship. Oh, may those days where you feel close far outnumber the days where you feel distant. But in those days, those down days… thank you for carrying me. Thank you for never leaving me to feel apart for very long. Amen.